


(i am) the modern man

by bukowsking



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Alternate Universe - Robots & Androids, Bottom Tony Stark, Bucky Barnes's Metal Arm, F/F, F/M, Fluff and Smut, M/M, Multi, Pepper Potts Is a Good Bro, Protective Bucky Barnes, Tony Stark and his Bots - Freeform, Tony-centric, Top Bucky Barnes, or a fuck, or both tbh, sentient bots, the team has all paired off, tony needs friends
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-04
Updated: 2020-03-20
Packaged: 2021-02-23 10:50:58
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,158
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23010334
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bukowsking/pseuds/bukowsking
Summary: "I'm just saying, Tony. It wouldn't kill you to make a new friend."And so, here he is. With a new friend. That he made.ortony stark's feeling lonely after everyone has seemingly paired off. thus, buk-e (bucky) is born.
Relationships: Bruce Banner/Natasha Romanov, Clint Barton/Laura Barton, James "Bucky" Barnes/Tony Stark, Jane Foster/Thor, Pepper Potts/James "Rhodey" Rhodes, Steve Rogers/Sam Wilson
Comments: 13
Kudos: 88





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> i own nothing but the storyline. enjoy xx

"FRIDAY, initiate wake sequence. Monitor stasis levels, vitals. Launch Safety Net protocol." Tony's voice steadily instructs the AI, observing closely as the droid before him whirs to life, steel blue eyes snapping from closed to immediately opened. Tony would be freaked out of his mind, if he hadn't custom created the eyeballs himself. And kudos to him, because,  _ shit _ did they look realistic as hell. Maybe he could corner the market in optics prosthetics. This was something he'd put on a docket to show to Pepper. 

The droid, BuK-E, as Tony had cleverly named him, made a quiet grunting noise and began to try to move its - his - limbs. Tony had left one arm robotic, purely for the aesthetic and purely for, well… pleasing visuals for himself. He's sure BuK-E won't mind. He may be sentient, but it was only to a certain degree. Tony sure as shit did not need another Ultron situation on his hands; he and the team had only just recently patched things up. As it is, Tony inhales and exhales deeply through his nose, raising his chin and making eye contact with his creation.

"Do you know who I am?"

BuK-E's eyes seem to twinkle with recognition, but his mouth stays in that harsh, full line. Then there's a tilt to his head, the ends of his jaw-length hair just barely brushing against the top of his left shoulder. 

"Anthony Edward Stark. Born on the ninth of May, 1970 to Howard and Maria. You weigh approximately 150 pounds, sans Iron Man suit. You're five foot seven - "

A cough. "Five foot  _ eleven _ , I think you mean."

".... Five foot seven. You like your coffee black and you slept for about twenty-five minutes last night. You also… created me. You gonna make me call you Dad?"

Tony all but chokes on his own spit at that last sentence, a lazy grin coming to his face. Of course, he'd given BuK-E the same sentient sarcasm he'd implemented with JARVIS. All of his bots were able to properly banter on the same level with him. Well, except for DUM-E, that one was the black sheep of the family. BuK-E's lips seem to mirror Tony's own, the 'droid grinning rather human-like. Although, Tony supposes that is the entire point of BuK-E's existence anyway.

He remembers the conversation like it was yesterday. Because it was.

\------------------------

"Tony, I really think you need to find some friends." 

Pepper's omnipresent voice filters through his eardrums and while typically this is a comfort for him, - Pepper did always reflect those traits of his mother that he loved but don't ever tell her that - this time it was a bit grating.

"Pep,  _ you're _ my friend. Unless we're broken up and I never got the memo? I've been meaning to fire that god-awful secretary of mine."

"Tony,  _ I'm _ your secretary," An exasperated huff, "And I mean it. I can't stand to see you like… like this! This just isn't you. It's not the Tony I've always known."

She gestures to the worn heather gray sweatpants that seem to be covered in what looks to be both motor oil and mustard stains, paired with a shirt that had more holes in it than Spongebob, and the overgrown mess on Tony's chin that he liked to call his beard. He supposes, in a way, she has some sort of a point here. She's used to seeing him dressed to the nines in three piece suits and running the show during board meetings but ever since she announced her engagement to his other best friend, Tony'd fallen into a bit o a pit of despair, if you will. 

And it wasn't just Rhodey and Pepper, either. Clint had fucked off to his wife and kids long ago, not that he and Tony were ever particularly close. But when Nat and Bruce had decided to shack up out of seemingly nowhere? That hurt. Nat was his second favorite redhead and Bruce was the only person he could spew all of his mad scientist bullshit at and actually have him  _ understand _ . Hell, he'd be damn proud of BuK-E.

Steve, who Tony was on very, rather incredibly, thin ice with to begin with, stunned them all when Thor walked in on Spangled and Falcon making out furiously on the kitchen floor one morning, surrounded by flour and what seemed to be an attempt at pancakes before the lovebug bit them. Tony, for his part, always suspected the two were going the way of Jack and Ennis, and good for them! Maybe Wilson could fuck that stick loose so long as he was gonna be up Rogers' ass. But it was just yet another way for Tony to be reminded of how painfully alone he actually was. Fuck, even Thor had an inter-dimension relationship and he was a few cards short of a deck, if you catch my drift.

So, sue him. Tony was lonely. And filling the void with greasy food and some tinkering in the lab. (Read: avoiding sleep completely and spending an entire seventy-two hour period fucking around with DUM-E while unsuccessfully trying to redesign the Iron Man suit about, oh, sixty-seven times? No biggie.) 

It wasn't anything he hadn't personally witnessed Pepper doing after a break-up, so why was she riding his ass about this?

"I realize we've all kind of played a part in this but… Tony, you're a grown man, despite your behavior. You really don't have anyone else you can talk to? Grab a coffee with?"

"Actually - "

"No, Tony, the bots don't count. And neither does JARVIS."

"Happy and I - "

"When was the last time you voluntarily chose to spend time with Happy? And you do know he's been seeing May Parker, right? I'm pretty sure they're about two dates away from moving in together. Don't you talk to him about these things?"

Tony's eyes shift, and Pepper knows she has her answer. That damned sigh of hers filters from her lips and Tony's having a hard time not wanting to gently nudge her out of the lab and go into lockdown mode all over again. Perhaps he'd have to discuss revoking some of her security privileges with JARVIS. 

But,  _ fuck _ , the woman was right. As she always is. 

"I'm just saying, Tony. It wouldn't kill you to make a new friend."

\--------------

And so, here he is. With a new friend. That he  _ made _ .

Sure, Pepper probably didn't mean it so literally but hey, when you insinuate that an inventor invent, that's exactly what he's going to do. And maybe he secretly wanted to see the inevitable exasperated look that was no doubt going to appear on Pepper's face when she'd seen what Tony had done. 

BuK-E's - perfectly groomed,  _ shit _ was Tony good - eyebrow raises, the inventor having zoned out a bit in his recollection of how exactly the 'droid was conceived. He paints a perfect smirk on his face, stepping away to grab a quick cup of coffee before he begins his actual assessment of his newfound friend.

"I would never. But maybe if you play your cards right I'll let you call me Daddy." He winked, and although he's not sure of exactly how much the 'droid could understand of his humor even though he'd implanted all the correct tools BuK-E would need to grasp onto all forms of banter, he did take care to implant some… human-like features for BuK-E. I mean, what was the meaning of life without orgasms? Even if they were artificial. After all, Tony did make an unhealthy habit of sleeping with his friends. Just ask Rhodey. And Pepper. And Nat. And Steve. Hell, even Thor, after a good bout of Asgardian mead and some potent weed. He still couldn't quite turn his head all the way to the right.

Shaking off the sex flashback induced shivers that ran down his spine, Tony filled his mug with the blackest coffee anyone on the Eastern seaboard had ever seen, and got to work. After all, BuK-E was due to make his big debut in about an hour or so, at dinner with the team. 

What could possibly go wrong?


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry it's been so long! i got caught up in some mental issues and writer's block and now this whole coronavirus conundrum. i hope you're all staying home and staying safe. hopefully this will provide some distraction. enjoy xx

A fucking lot, actually, could go wrong, it turns out.  _ Did _ go wrong. We should probably start at the beginning of this clusterfuck.

So, it started like any other dinner. Only Tony entered with a full fledged robotic human in tow. He gets the startled and questioning looks, really, he does, but BuK-E certainly couldn't. Nor did he appreciate them. Those manufactured lips of his upturn in a scowl, and while everyone just simply continues to eyeball the 'droid wearily, Tony actually catches Loki blatantly looking BuK-E up and down. Maybe the snake did have some semblance of taste after all. Then again, Loki would sleep with a lamppost if he could. But that's neither here nor there.

It all pretty much goes to shit when Steve pushes away from the table and stands up, puffing out that ridiculously well muscled chest of his. Tony immediately drags his gaze away from said chest when Sam arches an eyebrow at him. 

"What in the fuck is  _ that _ ." 

The venom in Rogers' voice is nothing new to Tony, but it makes BuK-E metallic hand clench, and Tony takes a moment to curse himself for making BuK-E so emotionally receptive. He knew there'd be a downside to that, but he didn't think it'd make its appearance this quickly. The 'droid seems to be eyeing Steve up, no doubt analyzing his vitals, fight patterns and any other knowledge Tony made him privy to. Hindsight is always 20/20. 

" _ Language _ , Cap. This here is BuK-E, my new friend that Pepper told me to make." He tosses a wink in said redhead's direction, and relishes in the way she rolls her eyes, tossing her hands in the air and shaking her head. "He's fully functional, sentient, and you should really watch what you say because it looks like he's about to go full Jackie Chan on your ass." Tony says, taking his seat at the head of the table and crossing his legs. "Now, what's on the menu for tonight? I believe we all agreed upon some Chinese, yeah?"

There's a pregnant pause, the tension so thick even Tony felt like he was going to choke on it. Then ol' blue eyes turns his hateful gaze on the mechanic, and all hell breaks loose. "No one wants another Ultron mishap,  _ Stark _ . Shut it the fuck down, now, before it hurts someone."

" _ It?"  _

They all turn when BuK-E speaks, his voice dripping with disdain for the living legend now standing before him. The 'droid doesn't back down, much to Tony's chagrin, and before anyone can so much as hold them back, there's fists flying. BuK-E gets the quick upper hand, hitting Steve with quick left hand hooks and kicks to both his groin and stomach. Thank god for that super soldier serum, otherwise Steve would  _ definitely _ be feeling that come morning. Don't tell him, but Tony may or may not have tucked away a bit of that serum within BuK-E's programming to ensure his health stayed at constant optimal levels. No use in a sick and dying 'droid, right?

Anyway, things escalate rather fast, and as soon as BuK-E brandishes a switchblade from seemingly nowhere, Sam and Nat immediately jump in to put the scrap to a stop. Steve's split lip is bleeding down to his chin, and although BuK-E can't exactly bleed, Tony did provide him with synthetic skin that could bruise and be cut. There's a rather large bruise forming on his cheek, but other than that, it appears that BuK-E has won the first battle. Tony can't wait to see the outcome of the war.

"C'mon, Steve. We'll go home." Sam gives Tony that cold stare he's so well known for, and while some part of Tony's heart aches at those words, he can't do much but watch as Wilson helps his limping boyfriend out of the dining room and up to their living quarters. Tony had known that Rogers and Wilson cosigned for an apartment somewhere in Red Hook, but he hoped that they'd never have to actually use it. To hear Wilson call it their home, insinuating that the Stark Tower, complete with entire floors designed to fit the needs of each Avenger, was in fact not home to them, affected Tony in ways he could never admit to. He wasn't one to show these vulnerable emotions, so he follows the thickening lump in his throat and gets on with it.

"Hey, Buk. Let's go fix that pretty little face of yours, yeah? Don't want that shiner of yours turning yellow before we can help it." The words are terse as he lays a palm on Buk-E's shoulder and moves to guide the 'droid back into the lab, blatantly ignoring the looks of concern coming from both Pepper and Rhodey. He can deal with their inevitable diatribes later, right now his focus is elsewhere. There's only so many times a man can hear the same words spewed at him over and over again. 

"Tony, if you're not careful, you're going to end up alone."

"Tony, science can't replace real human interaction."

"Tony, maybe you could give online dating a try! It's so easy to mask your identity these days and…"

Tony this, Tony that. No one ever seemed to consider that maybe Tony was damn well tired of hearing it. That maybe Tony preferred the company of his bots for a good reason. That his projects could never hurt him the way living, breathing humans have all his life. Howard's face flashes in his mind, and it's all Tony needs to down a finger of scotch as he pushes BuK-E down to sit on the workbench. 

"Alight, let's get to work, Terminator."

BuK-E responds with his best impression of Arnold Schwarzenegger, and Tony's so thankful he set the 'droid up with all of the best pop culture knowledge. The smile on his face doesn't quite reach his eyes, but it's not like BuK-E can tell.

\----------------------

Roughly an hour and a half a bottle of Scotch later, BuK-E's as good as new. In reality, he could've been done a bit quicker, but there was something in the solace that being in the workshop provided him that he just wanted to revel in for as long as he could. He could tell the 'droid was feeling something similar, the soft look in those artificially crafted eyes giving Tony goosebumps as they followed his line of motion.

"Are you alright, Mister Stark?"

"Tony. Mister Stark is long gone, Buckster. Good fucking riddance."

"My 'pologies. You never did tell me what to call you."

Tony turns from where he's stood nursing one last - maybe - glass of alcohol, a purse to his lips. He barely thinks it over and gives a measly shrug. "No harm in just calling me Tony. You got a name you'd prefer?" He challenges the 'droid with a raised brow and a tilted chin. BuK-E responds with a contemplative look and a matching shrug, moving to lean back against the work table.

"I'll let you know, Tony. But really. Your… friends. They been givin' you a rough time. You sure you're doin' alright?"

"Christ, Buckaroo, I should be asking  _ you _ that. You may not be 100% human but shit, I know damn well how much Spangles' punches hurt."

BuK-E's metal hand clenches. "He's hit you before?"

"At ease, Mr. Roboto. Sparring sessions. And a mix up during an Avengers mission. No need to get your motherboard in a twist." 

The 'droid shakes his head and crosses his arms, eyeing Tony a bit with concern, trying to decipher this… sad, broken human in front of him. "Yeah, well. I don't particularly like the fella. I'll be keeping an eye on that one."  _ For you _ , the words go unsaid, but it's heavily implied. Tony gives him another feigned smile, pats his creation on the back and moves to make his exit.

"Don't forget to plug yourself into the charging port. Night, Buck." Softly, and he dims the lights in the workshop as BuK-E heads to his space next to the hall of Iron Man suits.

"Goodnight, Tony."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> comments and criticisms always appreciated! xx


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a bit of a filler and shorter chapter but it felt necessary to get things moving. i hope you're all staying home and washing your hands! enjoy xx

Tony intentionally sleeps in well past his alarm in order to avoid what will undoubtedly be the most tense and awkward Avengers breakfast since the Ultron debacle. However, that doesn't stop BuK-E from waking himself from his rest and wandering into the communal kitchen all alone and ready to fight if need be. Clint nearly spits out his coffee at the sight of the 'droid sauntering in, and immediately he abandons Steve where the super soldier is scrambling some eggs by the open range stove. 

"Real nice, Barton." He snorts and rolls his eyes for good measure, cradling his own mug full of caffeine as he turns to face the… thing.

"I suppose you're here to chew me out, yeah? Maybe get another good hook in?" His skin is perfectly smooth and unbruised, a great benefit of the serum. Whatever marks were made or gunshots suffered were usually gone come morning. 

"I don't like you." BuK-E states plainly, stormy eyes centered on his target. His fist is ready to fly if need be, but he really doesn't want to disservice Tony like he did last night. The man needed sleep, not an excuse to keep himself up all hours of the night. 

Rogers laughs, and the 'droid is very tempted to hit him right then and there. He doesn't. For Tony's sake.

"Think I gathered that much all on my own, friend. Why don't you sit, hm? I realize your kind probably doesn't need to eat, but I could fix you up a nice cup of motor oil if you'd like."

He can't help the way his fists clench and begin to lift, really. An indignant huff floats past his lips, though, as he plops his backside down at the kitchen island. He has no intention of actually drinking motor oil, mind you, but he supposes it wouldn't hurt to at least gather some intel on the enemy. Look for blind spots, assess his fighting patterns and the like. May as well be prepared for the next time a quarrel ensued.

"Listen, Ducky - "

"BuK-E."

"Isn't that what I said?"

Another huff. This was proving to be a test of his great restraint.

"Anyway, listen. I know it may seem like you and Tony are buddies, pals, even. But the truth is you're just some science fair volcano that can just so happen to walk and talk. Tony  _ programmed _ you in a  _ lab _ . I mean, shit, just because a guy creates you doesn't mean you have to go all ride-or-die. You're not human. You'll  _ never _ be human. You'll never bleed or have a heartbeat or experience actual pain. You're just a glorified toaster."

Rogers pushes away from the counter, plate of scrambled eggs in hand, and makes his exit just like that. There's a pinching feeling in the back of BuK-E's brain and suddenly his throat feels tight and full, like he's swallowed a baseball. He doesn't realize it, but he's sat there for several minutes just blinking into the void. Not that he needed to blink. Just made him look less unsettling, he guesses.

It isn't until Tony walks in that he realizes there's a wetness to his cheeks. 

"Everything alright, Optimus Prime? Capsicle seemed pretty smug about someth-"

BuK-E turns to face his creator - his  _ friend _ , - and moves to wipe at the liquid now pooling on his chin. "I - I seem to be- leaking - some sort of… fluid. Am I broken? Do I need repairs?"

The expression on Tony's face turns to one of concern, and almost pity. BuK-E dislikes it immediately and the way it makes him feel. "Oh, Buk. Those are tears, bud. You're crying. Whatever Rogers said, or did, must've really gotten to you." Tony says softly, stepping between BuK-E's thighs and moving to dab at the… tears with the hem of his sleeve. The 'droid almost instantly wants to apologize for soaking the material. 

"He… told me I'd never be human. That I wasn't real. Nothin' more than a kids' science experiment come to life. A 'glorified toaster,' were the exact words." BuK-E explains, muttering. "What is crying, Tony? I don't think I like it very much."

The concerned look gets washed away with one of anger, at Steve, no doubt, and Tony breathes hard through his nose. "Remind me to kick his star spangled ass." He near-growls, shaking his head and moving to rest a gentle hand on his friend's shoulder. "Crying is a normal, and healthy, response to being upset, Buckaroo. That nimrod hurt your feelings, and this is how we express it, usually. Nothing you'd need repairs for, trust me." He reassures with a smile. "Although, if you'd like for me to remove the emotional sensitivity compartment I totally could. I'm sure lots of humans would pay to have it done to theirs."

"No! N-No. It's okay. Just… needed further explanation, I guess. I understand it now. Hurt feelings equal tears. Anger equals bruises. I'm sure I'll have plenty of time to gather intel on an entire rolodex of emotions." BuK-E says with that handsome half-grin of his, and Tony answers it with one of his own.

"Well, lucky for you I know just the cure for hurt feelings." Tony says, reaching to tug the 'droid up from his spot and gathering two ice cold tubs from the freezer. "Disgusting amounts of ice cream and a Disney marathon. What say you, HAL 9000?"

"... Disney. As in Walt?"

"The very same, my dear."

BuK-E blinks for a moment, and Tony's brow furrows as he blinks up at him. Then his mouth opens as he begins to rattle off.

"Walter Elias Disney, born on December 5th, 1901, was an animator, entrepreneur and - "

"Yeah, yeah, skip the  _ Lifetime _ autobiography and follow me, last one to the bedroom has to answer the phone next time Pepper calls."

BuK-E visibly shudders. There's not much for a robot to fear, but if there is one thing, it's the wrath of that woman. So maybe he takes advantage of his hyper-speed ability. Tony doesn't ever have to know. 

\--------------------

If BuK-E had a stomach with actual organs inside, he's sure he'd be sporting the world's biggest gut right now. He's not sure how Tony's kept such a good figure all these years when he eats like this, but he's sure being an active Avenger certainly helps. They'd finished both quarts of some delicious human creation called  _ Rocky Road _ ice cream. He may not need to eat, but BuK-E quite enjoyed this particular delicacy. Maybe he could have JARVIS order a few pints to the lab later, for the mini-fridge.

"Dear god, my intestines are  _ not  _ going to be happy with me later. Neither is JARVIS. I just had him wash these sheets last week." Tony laughs a little, gesturing to the mess he'd made on the duvet cover. BuK-E's not even sure why his creator cares, being that he hardly sleeps in this bed anyway. Which is a waste, truly, because BuK-E finds himself hard-pressed to be leaving it. It has to be made of memory foam or clouds or  _ something  _ equally as heavenly because it forms to BuK-E perfectly and seems to be trying to swallow him whole.

"You look about ready to drop into a food coma there, Iron Giant. Let's get you down to the charging bay." Tony sighs, and BuK-E detects a sense of wistfulness to it. Maybe Tony doesn't want to leave the bed either. The 'droid can't blame him.

However, he did need to charge, and for now the only place he could do that was in the corner of the leb designated for that purpose specifically. Perhaps he could persuade Tony into building a regular apartment for himself, charging bay included, along with a mini-fridge stuffed full of that mouth-watering ice cream. All in due time.

They make it down to the lab eventually, the both of them dragging their feet. Whether it was due to exhaustion or a reluctance to part, BuK-E's not sure, but he plugs himself in all the same. Tony eyes him wearily and then he's giving a tired smile and a yawn so big it almost makes BuK-E want to. When he turns to walk away and head back upstairs, the 'droid speaks up.

"Thank you, Tony. For today."

There's an unreadable look in his creator's eyes, something BuK-E's censors are unable to detect because it passes by so quickly. The man gives him an even bigger smile now, and nodding, moves to slide open the glass door.

"Of course. Goodnight, Bucky."

  
Bucky. As the 'droid slips into rest mode, he can't help but feel a warm tugging in the bottom of his stomach.  _ Damn ice cream. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> comments and criticisms always appreciated! xx

**Author's Note:**

> comments and criticisms always appreciated!! xx


End file.
